Man, how to understand him and get along with him?
This article is for you if you are curious about the man next to you and want to “read” him.
The characteristics presented are generally valid to the male sex, but one or two things might differ in some men. I’m going to discuss everything I’ve observed from my interactions with men or from the countless lectures, books, and psychological research I’ve read and learned about.
For those who want to learn more about men, I have left a list of recommended books below.
And for those who want to know All About Women, find the article in the link.
The most common questions women have about men:
1. Why does a man not talk much?
Only some men talk a little. But what influences how much someone talks, from the researchers’ point of view, is which hemisphere of the brain is more developed (the right side or the left side). Depending on this, language is more refined or not. And in women, language is usually more developed than in men.
2. Are all men sexist?
Just because it’s a man is not sexist.
I wanted to mention this because it’s easy to fall into the trap of generalizing for a few sexists. If he’s sexist, you’ll quickly tell that from what he says to you and how he looks at you with hatred. These things are universally true, no matter what kind of discrimination you discuss. The problem is that when you think everyone is sexist, you close yourself off, avoid interaction with any man, influence other people who haven’t even had a bad interaction with a man, and are constantly stressed. You pass on your stress to others.
3. Do all men make a compliment only if he has something to earn?
They sometimes pay a compliment to get something.
Sure, if you like a person, you want to show that you like them, and that’s why you tell them what you like, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily wish to do something. A compliment can be: the way he gets up the courage to start a conversation with an exciting person, shows his appreciation or tells you the qualities he would like.
4. Can’t a man listen to a woman?
There are plenty of shows like Family Guy that make jokes. Ha, ha, look, when the man talks to the woman, her voice is muted. And all of this encourages you to believe that. But everything funny is an exaggeration of reality, for comedy’s sake. It’s not to educate the audience. It’s to amuse them. If a man is interested in a topic, whether talking to a woman or a man, he’ll listen. If he knows a lot about the subject, he will be apparent, whoever that is.
Other things you should know about men
5. Man likes to receive compliments.
But who doesn’t like getting a compliment? The problem is we’re used to complimenting women but not men. Like it’s a bad thing to appreciate: the great things he does, if he looks good in an outfit or if he does something nice for someone.
Men are so used to not getting compliments that they think you’re attracted to them when you give them praise.
6. Every man is different so treat him as such.
If he’s a badger, open his eyes to how he acts, but if he’s nice, don’t remember the badger and don’t treat him like one.
Many women who are disappointed in love go on to see the person who betrayed or disappointed them in their future partner. Sure, it’s easy to put your stamp on people from a few personal examples. Neither men nor women shy away from making hostile generalizations. However, it’s much easier to correct this tendency to generalize when we see that we have this habit and see that it affects our lives. Because such an attitude breaks down relationships, not preserves them.
7. If you keep asking a man if he’s mad at you at some point, he will get angry.
The blister is the biggest problem in the interaction between men and women. Nothing annoys him more than a moralist telling him what to do, what to say, and how to think.
8. Being more active doesn’t mean he likes to get into fights.
Some boys at school still bicker or make jokes at each other’s expense, but that doesn’t mean everyone likes it. This is more advice for men about men. Sometimes they overreact, and violent behavior is childish and annoying. If you have friends who don’t like this behavior, they will tell you to stop, and you might as well do it.
9. He doesn’t like it when only he takes the initiative.
It’s exhausting always to initiate a conversation, a date, a sex game, etc. Yes, a man likes to take the lead, but sometimes it gets tiring. Whether it’s a friendship, couple, business partners, etc., showing him that he’s not alone against everyone is worth a thousand words.
10. Who doesn’t like to be appreciated?
Women are used to getting compliments, and when they don’t get them, they complain, but a man isn’t going to tell you how much he’d like to get compliments, even though they want it. I understand that some men prefer not to give compliments to other men for fear of appearing unmasculine, but women have no excuse.
11. How you react influences man’s behavior.
If you don’t appreciate it when he compliments you, he won’t praise you anymore. Only expect a man to do it if you understand his initiative in helping you with housework, childcare, or other activities. If he tells you you look good and don’t appreciate the compliment, don’t expect him to tell you how good you look at another time.
12. What’s in private stays in private.
If he tells you something personal, it doesn’t mean you have to be quick to say it to your friends. If they wanted to, they’d discuss it openly when you’re all together on a date or other event.
13. They don’t like it when you change your mind or are reluctant.
The most common example is when the woman changes her outfit many times or when she is asked where she would like to go out, and she still asks him to decide. The man’s thinking behind this discomfort is that there is no point in dwelling on minor things that may not affect your life at all. I mean, it’s normal to think about it when you have to decide whether or not to have an operation, what house to buy, where to move to, etc. But for a pair of shoes to spend a few hours on is pointless. Plus, it’s also about the value of time. Wouldn’t you spend that time sitting around thinking about deciding to have fun with your loved ones?
14. If you ask a man’s opinion, don’t be upset when he tells you.
Why ask if you value honesty and get upset when it’s given? Focus instead on the fact that you have received feedback, know from it what you could change, and that the person giving you feedback wants to help you, not hurt you.
15. Man, listen to your problems to give you a solution, not just for the sake of listening.
Because he loves you, he wants you to be happy, and when you tell him you are unhappy, you give him problems to solve. It is a joy for him to be your happiness, as you are the reason for his enjoyment. In his mind, everything seems very clear. If I help her solve her problem, there is no problem. That means she’s happy, and I’m so glad. The problem is that the man’s logic is not the woman’s.
For her, it’s: if I tell him how I feel and what I’m going through, I show him that I trust him, that I love him, and that I want him to know me better. I don’t need him to give me a solution because I can find one alone. I want him to be there for me and tell me everything will be okay, that he trusts me and that I can handle it. The thing is, if neither of us gets out of this personal logic block, frustration and problems in interaction arise.
16. Respect man’s privacy.
Feelings and interacting with people can become very tiring for the man. When a woman starts to get to know someone, she wants to learn as much as possible, to spend more time together, to talk about everything that is happening to her, and she tends to think that if she likes all these things, he must like them too, otherwise, he doesn’t love her. In this case, the most important thing is to talk about your expectations of each other. And dispel the mysteries and the tendency to give your opinion about what the other thinks or wants.
17. They need time with their friends.
It’s nice to be with your girlfriend or family, but it gets monotonous when there are no new activities, and you don’t interact with other people. Some men devote themselves to their relationships or families, especially during an impasse. But friends can help him get rid of his accumulated stress and worries.
18. If you break up with him, don’t give him the things he gave you back.
He has no use for them, which disrespects your time together. Such a violent attitude does not help to heal. Each teaches you something, no matter what twists and turns a relationship takes. It enables you to understand how to better interact with a person, it helps you better understand what you want, and it opens your eyes to how you used to see or act. Objects given as gifts, no matter what you go through, were provided out of love, not hate. If it affects you to keep them, it’s better to donate them to someone who will use them than to throw them away to your ex-lover or spouse, showing them that they never meant anything to you.
19. He has a strong sense of defending the women he cares about.
Whether it’s his mother, sister, or girlfriend, every man is taught to protect the people he cares about. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, which I will discuss in the next topic.
20. Men are more hormonally and developmentally consistent than women.
From this point of view, we could say they are fortunate because they are not overloaded with all kinds of feelings. The problem is that women who go through all sorts of states are more trained to deal with these states. In a personal crisis, the man can be much more affected mentally and emotionally. Unprepared to release this stress, they may consume themselves (through depression) or form deviant behaviors (such as violence, rape, and murder).
However, let’s not blame hormones alone when a man takes a wrong turn. There are many more ways a man can positively manifest his anger and frustrations, and his choice to display it negatively is his fault, not the hormones.
21. He doesn’t like having to fight for your attention.
A man likes it when a woman acts naturally and gives him clear signals about whether she wants him or not. He doesn’t like it when she tests him by telling him how many people like her. He doesn’t need to know that the woman he is courting is a particular person. If he’s interested in her, it’s because he realizes she’s special. If he sees that he has to compete with many people for your attention, treat him with indifference, or worse, you won’t make him want to win you over. He will retreat.
22. He likes someone to take care of him.
It’s nice that he takes care of someone, but when the other person also shows him by friendly gestures like making him breakfast or coffee, giving him an umbrella, so he doesn’t get rained on, taking care of him when he’s sick, etc., he feels better too.
23. He likes women who know how to treat him.
A man likes to be appreciated for his hard work and dedication. To be respected. To be encouraged and supported. And to be spoken nicely. For more on this, I recommend What he wants and what she wants in a relationship.
24. He likes it when you want it.
We’re talking about sex. The man needs to make the woman feel good. The woman has to tell him what she wants if she wants to feel good too. Because he’s willing to try, experiment, and help you with this.
25. He’s not interested in the drama of your friends.
In this case, the man doesn’t care if his friends are happy or unhappy. It’s not his role as a man to care for your friends. What matters is your relationship and your happiness. Your friends should solve their problems. The most important things are the problems in your relationship.
26. He doesn’t have a good sense of observation.
He only notices sometimes when a woman has made a hair change. Man doesn’t see that the blouse he’s looking for is in the closet where he’s told it is, etc.
My father will be a famous example for me. I needed a dress from the closet to bring to the town where I was, and he got my whole wardrobe of clothes, so the dress was there.
27. If something’s bothering you, don’t say it in front of all your friends.
It’s something even a woman doesn’t like to have done to her. However, both sexes tend to put someone in embarrassing positions, as if public opinion would help by suddenly becoming supporters of one or the other. On the contrary, the public has an even harder time because they must figure out whether to get involved. And if they do, if the couple then teams up against the people.
28. He doesn’t like holding grudges.
When a man discusses a problem, he wants to solve it. When he offers solutions and does what he feels is suitable for the two of you, it doesn’t mean that if at some point he’s wrong, you have to pull his “Couples Record” (let’s see when you’ve been wrong before…). You’re not enemies who happen to share a bed. You’re a couple who communicate to work things out and move forward.
29. Tell him straight out what you like, not in a roundabout way.
He will only understand if you say it straight. He won’t know what you want if you don’t tell him. So don’t tell him indirectly with “women’s morse code” signals. Tell him straight out.
30. He’s not your father.
Some women might idolize the image of the father. The man who does their bidding. The one who solves all her problems because you’re a child and he’s an adult. But in a couple’s relationship, you’re both adults. You both have to take on adult responsibilities. When you have fun, you have fun, but don’t throw the dead cat at each other when there are serious things to deal with. No more foolishness and childishness.
31. The man lives less.
It’s a statistically proven fact from demographic studies. They live less because they are prone to: depression, suicide, heart disease, accidents, etc. And also, social pressure, being taught to shut down their feelings, their tendency to make impulsive decisions, and their habit of caring more about others than themselves all influence their lives. Some say there are more women than men, and I say yes, they are correct, but that is because women are much stronger than they appear and because men do not care for themselves.
32. He’s independent and wants women to be independent too.
And here, there are exceptions to the rule, where the man wants to show his strength. But with the development of society, people have realized that an economy based solely on male labor is hard to sustain. With this change in mentality, women must learn to take on more responsibility. Because we are talking about independence, we cannot avoid the subject of equality between women and men. I have written an article on this topic that may help you understand the subject better: Taboo, women’s money, and men’s money.
33. Man has a heart and feelings.
He differs in how he shows his love, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel anything. The different upbringing between men and women and the differences between the two sexes greatly influence his attitude. Men are brought up to “look like men” to repress their feelings, not to feel sorry for themselves but to find solutions, to be the “pillar of the family. You can’t be brought up your whole life to do that and suddenly expect the opposite as his attitude.
34. It’s hard being a man.
Supporting your family. Not crying when someone you love dies because your job is to help those around you. It’s hard to show you’re strong all the time.
In that case, don’t there enough pressure on men already? Can you help make it easier for him to get through these difficult things?
35. He’s not a woman, so don’t expect that.
You’ve figured out by now that if you want a man, you’ll get one. Don’t suddenly expect him to act like a woman. If a woman learns to express her feelings and men know to solve problems, expect them to stay the same. What makes a strong couple is precisely the difference between you. It helps you see things from a different perspective and make the most of different perspectives on life.
36. They’re not superheroes.
Because the father in the family often takes on the role of financial breadwinner and usually leaves the part of childcare to the woman, he creates mystery around himself. The child is fascinated by her father, about whom she knows little. And all the things we know little about, we begin to create a picture of. Thus, the father becomes the man with superpowers.
Man likes to look like he can’t be affected by anything. He is the person who has solutions to everything. He is the person you know very little about. It’s easy to create the image of the superhero and then imagine that the man you’re going to be with has to be extraordinary, or he’s not a man.
37. Men are prone to take more significant risks.
Because of the higher testosterone levels and the differences in the brains of men and women, men take more enormous risks. Speaking from an evolutionary perspective, it’s normal to take more significant risks to find and catch “food .” But the problem with taking substantial risks is that it can shorten your life.
38. Testosterone and estrogen levels influence his personality.
As with women, men are influenced by their testosterone or estrogen levels. These determine inclinations towards better communication or focus on goals and tasks. A tendency towards fixed subjects or the arts. Men don’t have large fluctuations in hormonal change compared to women, which helps them not to switch as easily from one state to another as women do.
39. Sex life is influenced by stress, diet, fatigue, etc.
As with women whose orgasm is determined by how he feels, men are also influenced by how they live their lives. Because although we might think that sex is only physical, many more elements determine our fulfillment in this area of our lives. Stress, diet, alcohol, fatigue, and mental problems determine sex power. In the man’s case, all these things affect his potency.
40. He doesn’t know how to be a man, either.
In the case of the father-son relationship, there are problems if he spends little or no time with him. The son learns to become a man from his mother, which is entirely wrong. He comes of age to have doubts, “am I behaving like a man .”
The fact that he is often told “be a man” doesn’t help (“what could it mean that I don’t know how to be a man?”). In their relationships with other men, they need to demonstrate this constantly. It is hard to have doubts about this. After all, isn’t it true that every boy who grows up and takes responsibility becomes a man? Why does society give him doubts that he is not what he is?
No portrait for women or men can put you in one category or another. All other people’s opinions are just opinions. They are everyone’s image of what a man should or should not be.
41. It’s not always about sex.
The fact that men are more interested in sex is a highly publicized idea many people take as a universal truth. But I ask you: If he thinks about sex all the time, how can he concentrate on his work or a simple conversation?
42. If you want to know something about him, ask him, and he will tell you.
That’s what men often mean when they say they are simple. Ask, and he’ll tell you. Please don’t say he’s mad when he isn’t.
43. He’s afraid of being rejected.
Most of the time, he has to take the initiative in starting a conversation, and the more rejections there are, the harder it becomes to get the courage to start a conversation.
44. He prefers to be told a rejection directly.
The more you make excuses not to upset him, the more you give him dashed hopes, and he feels offended. When a woman tells him: she can’t be with him because she has a boyfriend, he interprets that as “maybe I can’t now, but if you break me up or convince me, it works .” If you want to turn him down, tell him straight out no.
45. Don’t expect him to be attracted to you if you don’t take care of yourself.
Some women might get upset, saying that men are attracted to a woman’s looks. But this is the truth.
I hope you found the information helpful in understanding your partner better. For more in-depth knowledge, I also recommend the books below.
Bibliography:
- So You Call Yourself a Man? by T. J. Jakes
- Men are from Mars Women are from Venus by Dr. John Gray
- All books by Allan and Barbara Pease
- Men in love by Nancy Friday
- If men could talk by Alon Gratch
Photo source: Unsplash.
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